I have never been to an island. At no point in my life, from what I’m able to recall at least, have I ever set foot on a piece of land surrounded by water on all sides. Well, to be completely frank, that statement is a full-blown lie now. It’s been kind of false for the past two years, slightly more false since about four weeks ago, and completely, irrefutably, indisputably, and incontrovertibly incorrect for just under three weeks.