All in Good Fun

I don't throw spiders on my wife even though I would get a reaction. I'm kind. She's not like Mary Lou. Dawn likes snakes but not spiders. She once grabbed a fox snake off of the pitcher's mound at a Hansell Redlegs game so they could get underway. We both joke about how if you don't like snakes it's because you like mice. It's logical to like snakes if you don't live in the South. Has a snake ever chewed up the wiring in your air conditioner?

We had a long day yesterday and didn't come in for dinner. I was still outside when Dawn texted me, “The air isn't working. It's 76 in here.” I wrote back, “Oh boy.” About every 1½ years I have to splice and tape and replace a fuse because of what should have been snake food. Butt connectors in hand, I laid down next to the machine and didn't get electrocuted. That LED flashlight is my friend.

We have a nephew who sent us a package and concealed under the contents was a fake spider. Well! Now in our phone log he's listed as Spiderman. We love him anyway. There's seldom long-term damage from a good-hearted prank among friends or family. And sometimes a little fun is good for strangers as well, although I've been known to make babies cry. I'm an insensitive beast.

We heard a story about our friend, Billy, as he was stopped with a friend for lunch. Denny gave Billy his dark glasses and told him to pretend he was blind. They ordered their food and Denny even cut Billy's meat for him while Billy fumbled around putting on a good act. When they left, Billy climbed in the driver's side and they went on down the road. Soon a trooper who had been eating at the same diner pulled up alongside and Billy looked over and waved. The officer waved them on with a chuckle.

There was a Safeway store on the way to my college in Oakland. One day, Gardiner and I were in there and I crumpled to the floor as if I had had a heart attack. Bob grabbed me by the foot and drug me out the door, much to the horror of the people there. Then I jumped up and we scampered off.

The prank I'm most proud of though, was as a kid in Santa Monica. Duncan McCully and I made a dummy out of clothes stuffed with rags. We put it in a seldom traveled street after dark and waited. A car came by and ran over it. The hat rolled along nicely. Duncan and I hid behind a low hedge as people gathered. I have no idea why they just stood there pondering what to do instead of checking for a pulse or something. It seemed like hours barely hidden about 30 feet away. We snuck off undetected.

I'm still hoping to get back at our middle kid, Karl, for taping the sprayer in the “on” position aimed at me when I went to get water for coffee at the kitchen sink. I do know he's afraid of spiders. But I'm kind.