1967 Beetle Story For Jay

Alternative Column

I have a friend in Texas who I have never met. We got acquainted because he writes articles for a website dedicated to 1967 VW Beetles. I have several friends like that, far away but often in contact. He wants me to tell the history of my relationship with '67 Bee-tles and, even though there is a ton of stuff to write about regarding the “pandemic,” could you use a break? I could.

When I turned 16 my dad was at the golf course and mentioned that I was ready to save up for a car. Ray Kroc (no kidding) said there was an opening at the McDonald's on Pico Boulevard. What a great job for a kid starting out in life.

Mom drove me to and from work and soon I could pay cash for a '59 Bug. Boy was I proud of that thing. I cut out the letters from the cover of Mad Magazine and put them in the back window like a college name. After a good long time (including a month with a dead battery while I pushed it to start) it needed a valve job. Mom said she would pitch in on a new bug.

I could choose a '68 or a '67. The reason there is a web-site entirely dedicated to the 1967 is that it was the ultimate year, with many unique fea-tures. It had the first 12-volt system along with a few other improvements. The 1968 was the first year for high-back seats (that made it into two rooms), goofy five-mile per hour bumpers, and smog hardware that ruined the power and efficiency.

I bought the Zenith Blue Bug for $2,004.44. I put halo-gen driving lights on the bumper and Koni shocks on the front. I made a mahogany cover for the dash.

By then I was working at a grocery store in Pacific Pali-sades. On my way to work one day I stopped at a stop sign and proceeded into the path of a Plymouth Roadrunner full of teenagers. They came around a corner too fast for me to see them. I still remember seeing that dash splinter through the air. We ended up in a yard a few feet from the front door of a house. The car had 2004 miles on it.

The fire department got there in a few minutes but we had to wait for the police. y Mom arrived a half hour before they did. I bet the burglars in the neighborhood were glad my mom wasn't a cop. She was pretty upset as my white shirt was soaked with blood (but just from little chunks of glass). I can't remember if she got the blood stains out.

My insurance company let me take the lights but not the Koni shocks. I guess since the lights could go on anything, just for a change I bought a Fiat 124 sedan.

It had 600 miles on it as a demonstrator. It weighed 1875 pounds and cost $1875. It got 32 miles per gallon and could burn rubber in second gear. Stupid kid!

Well, people just kept run-ning into me. No one would sell me insurance. Not so stu-pid insurance companies! I went without a car for several years, using a Honda 160, a bicycle, and a thumb to get around. It was OK.

I went through a couple more '59 bugs when my world got big (living in the country). Dawn and I had some SAABs, just to stay weird. Then I got old.

In America when men get old, some of them get classic cars. It seemed better than knit-ting. I searched Craigslist in California where cars get stolen instead of rusted out. I found this Savanna Beige '67 bug with a Brazilian 1600. The owner had bought it from the estate of a friend and wanted a Comet instead. Ha! We became pretty good friends over the phone. There were lots of choices for shipping, most with horror stories in the reviews. It wasn't ready for a drive by me. I sure would have tackled it before I became responsible though.

Tom Donney, the SAAB nut from Fort Dodge recom-mended Reliable Carriers. When the car got here it shared an enclosed trailer with two brand new Ford GTs.

Dawn had just broken her foot so I had to drive. Darn it all.

Any responses to The Alternative may be sent as a letter to the editor or to Fritz’s email address 4selfgovernment@gmail.com. His blog, www.alternativebyfritz.com, is now being updated regularly. It's diverse, like the universities claim to be.

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