Ya workin'?

Alternative Column: My first job was really more like a small business. The kid down the street, Kenny Foster, and I went door to door playing ukuleles and singing “You Are My Sunshine.” A lot of people gave us a quarter. We grinned. Now I'm married to a real musician and still grinning. Kenny and I had it made. Food, shelter, and parents were all provided in return for some household chores. But we wanted to be more like real people.
That was the start of my working life. Some of you might remember that Ray Kroc himself, got me my first regular job many years after the ukulele gig. I was sixteen and wanted a car. McDonalds was way better than school. I learned teamwork, planning ahead, and how to follow orders to the letter. I should have been paying them, not the other way around.
My next job at “Pizza Man, He Delivers,” was not that way. A dollar, twenty-five plus ten cents per delivery only paid for me. I had to throw in the car, gas, and insurance. I was subsidizing Pizza Man.
I thought I'd really struck it rich with the “management trainee” job at the landscaping company. I was trained to crawl on my hands and knees pulling weeds out of a five acre lawn. I learned that following orders to the letter meant realizing he didn't mean every weed, just the ones visible from the road.
On the way back to the shop, my superior trainee was told to give the boss a ride to the hospital. He had been stung in the eye by a bee. So I took the truck back myself with the emergency brake on. All the smoke in the pickup cab combined with that meticulously groomed little patch of grass led them to believe I should take a hike. I couldn't argue with that.
My working life has all been good. I've never looked forward to vacations. Every job wasn't so much fun as it was rewarding, for helping an employer satisfy a customer. Whenever there was a hard day, I knew there would come a time of rest, a time to prepare for a better day.
As I drive through Mason City I see opportunity all around. Employers go out of their way to buy banners proclaiming, “now hiring.” If there is one person on unemployment in this town, there is something dreadfully wrong.
Think of the grouchy or hungry customers who could use a compliment, a laugh, or something good to eat. Think of the smiles that could be put on their faces. Think of the rent being paid with the results of all this goodness.
Two situations inspire me to write about work today. One is the employer who has his long-term employees badger the new guy who is a slacker or otherwise not suited to the job, in order to make him quit. He says he doesn't like to fire anyone. The other is the worker who does a poor job in order to get fired.
Both of these attacks on productivity exist to game the system of public unemployment insurance. There are rules to address these situations but they aren't working. Basically they will never solve anything because the potential beneficiary, the worker, doesn’t pay the insurance. The potential for gain without effort will not be overcome with detailed rules. Unemployment insurance should be privatized.
Private unemployment insurance could be sold to reflect a worker's financial responsibility just like life insurance. The costs and benefits could be regulated by needs of the employee and provider rather than a system that reaches into the pockets of people with no stake in the game.
There may come a time when jobs are so scarce that the insurance will pay off. That is part of being civilized; planning and saving for the future. If Kenny Foster and I had gone through the neighborhood without ukuleles taking quarters, it wouldn't have been fair. And wouldn't have produced those grins.
Any opinions on this column are welcome at 4selfgovernment@gmail.com or through a letter to the editor. The blog is updated almost daily at www.alternativebyfritz.com. Try it. You’ll like it.

Hampton Chronicle

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Hampton, IA 50441
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