Chronicle Editorial

Resolutions
     With the new year upon us comes the time-old adage of making resolutions to do better, be better or become something. In today’s day in age, traditions are hard to come by, with many choosing new habits rather than sticking to old ones; making new year resolutions might be one of those traditions.
     Think about it. Do you remember the resolution you made last year? If you do, did you accomplish or reach or succeed in what you promised yourself? Most people don’t, which opens the door to thinking that new years don’t matter and nothing changes, so why bother. Truth is, it’s no one’s fault. Resolutions are really, really hard to fulfill. Psychology has proven that.
     We make out resolutions to be check lists of accomplishing some sort of change, when in reality, resolutions are more grand gestures of reflection after 365 days.
     Think about it. A resolution that says that “I’ll be more open with people,” is a result of someone thinking that they are very introverted, and it’s impacting them in a negative way.
     Or, there’s the staple “I’ll lose weight,” resolution, which is a result of feeling like you’ve let yourself go or are unhealthy. If we think really hard about it, resolutions are positive ways for saying negative things; it is a blind acceptance of the person you are through wanting to change.
     Aside from the philosophy of resolutions are that these grand decrees are some times too big to climb, especially over 365 days. Commitment is hard in an ever changing world. Midway up the mountain, who wouldn’t want to take a break?
     This isn’t to say that resolutions are bad. Resolutions are human constructs for reflection. That’s how humans work. We interpret reality and how it has impacted us. We then make decisions based off that experience.
     Let’s say we maybe gained some weight. We are our own harshest critics. The resolution to lose weight is great. But what the resolution doesn’t do is explain how you gained weight, or how exactly you’ll go about it.
     Maybe you had a tough year. Maybe your year was fruitful and you took advantage of it. Maybe you were busy and never found the time to exercise. Believe it or not, learning from a mistake if better than just making a blanket statement to not make that mistake again.
     Instead of making resolutions, make learning opportunities. If you want to lose 15 pounds, don’t say your resolution is to lose 15 pounds. Find out why you gained 15 pounds. Maybe you exercised all the time and ate a lot. Make your resolution be achievable. Small success create habits. Resolve to only eat desserts two days per week. Or, resolve to walk a half hour every day.
     You might ask how these steps are ever going to result in losing 15 pounds. The answer is, the point isn’t to lose 15 pounds. The point is to develop habits. Making time to walk 30 minutes a day means that you are rewiring yourself to want to exercise. Only eating dessert two days a week rewires you to watch what you eat, knowing you can only cheat twice. Watching what you eat goes a long way in dieting.
     If you want to associate and be open with more people, don’t resolve to be more open. Resolve to talk to a stranger at the grocery store once per week. Simply saying “Hello, how are you,” to a shopper at Fareway might not seem like you’re opening up to people, but it rewires your approach to speaking with people. It takes courage to talk to a stranger. Asking how they are, 52 times a year, desensitizes you to being afraid or uncomfortable. Odds are that your conversations by week 40 will continue long past simply saying “I’m good.”
     Again, resolutions aren’t bad, they’re great tools for change. But they don’t act as great facilitators of change. Most change happens slowly, very slowly, and while you don’t recognize it’s happening. Making small changes makes you open to more changes.
     This new year, resolve to make small, little changes. They’re the ones that make all the difference.