Age of the Geek

‘Tis easier to give than to receive
     I never used to be hard to shop for.
     As a child, I took my birthday and Christmas wish lists seriously.
     Very seriously.
     Hours of my youth were spent sitting at the family computer compiling the ultimate expression of my material desires. In the days before the Internet, few things got me more excited than the JC Penney’s Christmas catalogue, filled with pictures of action figures, Nerf guns, play sets and anything else that a kid may want.
     Magazines were a good source of ideas too, again, pre-Internet. FuncoLand, the 90’s predecessor of GameStop, advertised in the back of “Tips and Tricks Monthly.” The ad didn’t have colorful cartoon characters trying to grab a child’s attention. It consisted almost entirely of plainly formatted lists detailing their store’s selection of games.
     Look over at the nearest legal publication in this newspaper. The FuncoLand ad was about as eye-grabbing as that, but it worked on me. I scoured their selection for every game that even sounded good, whether I owned the appropriate gaming console or not.
     And of course there were the advertisements that came directly from the toy companies. If you had a Sewer Surfing Michelangelo figure, that toy would come with a little flipbook naming all of the other action figures in the toy line. It was great for showing kids like me all of the other toys I absolutely had to have to complete my collection. Or what other collections to start.
     As you may have discerned by now, the barrier of entry for getting on my Christmas list was not high. If it existed and it was something that I maybe kind of wanted, it made it on the list. This inevitably resulted in me printing out 20 or 30 pages of meticulously organized requests for my parents and/or Santa Claus.
     And then doing it again with every revision.
     Not that I ever expected to get even a fraction of the things I listed, but when somebody asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I definitely had an answer. I had a lot of answers.
     In retrospect, a list of Christmas ideas that runs into triple digits was probably less helpful than my nine-year-old self realized. I may have actually gotten more things I wanted had I narrowed it down a bit.
     But hey, at least I wasn’t hard to shop for. Throw a rock in a toy aisle and odds are good that you’ll hit something I wanted.
     Twenty-some years later that’s not really the case anymore. As part of a Secret Santa group, I’m struggling to come up with things to put on my Amazon Wish List. Going through it, I’m finding myself taking off more items than I’m putting on. I honestly don’t know what I want for Christmas anymore.
     DVDs used to be a safe bet, but nowadays there’s more than enough to watch online. The few Blu-Rays I own are more collectors items than anything else. They look pretty on a shelf and that’s about it.
     Books and video games are still nice, but the simple fact is that I already have more of both than I’ll ever get through. I started three novels this year and haven’t finished any of them. Sure, I can always ask for more, but I really don’t need more things. I need more hours in the day to enjoy the things I already have.
     Compounding the problem is the fact that if it’s in Santa’s price range, I’ve probably already gotten it for myself. There are few things that I want enough to ask for, but not enough to simply buy on the spot.
     Disposable income is one of the better advantages of being an adult. It means you don’t have to wait for a holiday to pick up a new game or gadget. That’s great for most of the year, but it does make you harder to shop for.
     Sure, I’d love to have a new CPU and motherboard for my computer or some leather car seats, but those are some big purchases. I’m a good boy, but I haven’t been that good.
     I’ve always hated the idea of gift cards. You may as well say, “I know you enough to know what stores you shop at, but not enough to actually get you something you want.”
     Lately though, I’ve started to see the appeal. It’s nice knowing that your next trip to buy groceries is already covered. I don’t need fun things. I need gas money and fewer bills. If I could have anything for Christmas, it would be for my health insurance premium to stay where it is.
     Now that would take a Christmas miracle.
 
     Travis Fischer is a news writer for Mid-America Publishing and should maybe start collecting things again.