Age of the Geek

Shut up and take my money!
 
     Dear HBO,
I can only hold out my money for so long before I’m forced to come to the conclusion that you’re just not interested in it.
     The latest season of “Game of Thrones” started this Sunday and, if history holds true, it will become the most heavily pirated show since last year’s season finale. After all, “Game of Thrones” was the most pirated show of 2014, 2013 and 2012. In fact, nearly as many people watch “Game of Thrones” through illegitimate methods as they do your subscription service.
     And I know this vexes you, but I’m going to be perfectly honest here. You only have yourself to blame.
     I understand the theory that you are operating under. You think that if you produce amazing quality content, people will subscribe to your channel. That is a perfectly reasonable business model and it has served you well for decades.
     You know who else had a perfectly reasonable business model? Blockbuster Video. Ask them how well sticking to a pre-Internet business model in the 21st Century worked out. Oh wait, you can’t, because they aren’t around anymore.
     Your business model is outdated and you need to adapt to the times. And this is coming from a guy that works at a newspaper.
     Cable TV is on its way out. HBO, you are hosting a great party on a sinking ship. As much as I’d like to hang out with Peter Dinklage, John Oliver and Bill Maher, I’m not getting on that boat. You’re going to have to come to me.
     It seems pretty disingenuous to complain about the people pirating your show when history has shown again and again that those people are more than willing to pay for it if you simply offer them what they want. This is not a group of thieves trying to get away with stealing your stuff. It’s a market you are failing to reach out to.
     Pretty much everybody else has already figured out that the only way to stop online piracy is to beat the pirates at their own game. Specifically with a streaming service.
     And I know you’ve been trying, but let’s face it, you’re not trying very hard.
     First there was HBO GO, which let you watch HBO content online, but only if you were also a subscriber to their cable channel. That kinda defeats the purpose, don’t you think? All HBO GO really accomplished was annoying your current subscribers with friends and relatives bugging them for their password.
     And last week you launched HBO Now. On paper it looks like everything we ever hoped for. Unlimited streaming for a reasonable monthly subscription fee.
     But there’s a catch.
     Because there just had to be a catch.
     Because after years of people holding their hands outstretched saying, “take my money!” you just had to throw in one more barrier between your potential customers and your content.
     In this case, that barrier is Apple. Oh sure, you can sign up for HBO Now...once you download the app on your iOS device or AppleTV. Even now, after all these years, you still won’t take my money. You’re going to make me give it to Apple as a go-between.
     I don’t own any Apple products. I could buy your app, but I’d have no way to register my account. Between me and my roommates, we collectively own at least a dozen devices that can stream YouTube, Hulu and Netflix, and yet none of us can use HBO Now.
     Just a couple days before the “Game of Thrones” premiere, Netflix released “Daredevil.” It’s fantastic. It’s the show everybody is talking about. And, most importantly, it’s easy to get to. All you need to do is sign up for Netflix.
     You don’t need a specific device. You don’t need to go through a third party. There are no hoops to jump through. You give Netflix money, they let you watch their shows.
     How do you, HBO, of all companies, manage to mess this up? You’re not selling collectable figures. Scarcity does not increase the value of your content. For years now the world has been asking for a simple HBO streaming service. How many zeroes on that check from Apple did it take to make you think that adding yet another barrier between you and your customers was a good idea?
     Yes, this deal with Apple is for a limited time. In three months I’m sure HBO Now will be widely available, but we both know that’s going to be far too late.
     Please, HBO, I’m begging you. Shut up and take my money.
 
     Travis Fischer is a news writer for Mid-America Publishing and just wants to watch Game of Thrones without getting an angry letter from an ISP.